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Tin Foil Hats - for the discriminating lunatic. |
It's common knowledge that aliens or the government or something is beaming harmful signals throughout the universe nonstop, 24/7. This is what makes almost everyone mindless hypnoslaves, forced to conform to society's norms. But not you, for you are wisely covering your head with dynamic space-age metal, the only substance known to repel those hypnowaves: tin foil. With your homemade tin foil hat, your brain is safe.
Sure, your hat allows you to subvert your oppressors, but let's face it; it makes you look ridiculous. Chances are it's the same origami hat/ship that kids make. What is the alternative, you ask? Designer tin foil hats. Where to find them? Look no further. Greetings and welcome to tfh, home of the most stylish tin foil hats on Earth, for the discriminating lunatic. Just listen to this riveting testimonial:
"Thank you for your efforts to safe our brains. This has been an issue for me for quite some time, always the fear of losing mine, through theft by aliens or whatnot. Now everyone will know that I have an edge on them. I feel good about that."
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The Dapper is hard to beat when it comes to understated style. With a curved brim and wide band with genuine tin foil feather, it says "Goodbye hypnowaves, hello class!" |
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The Fez boasts a mideastern flare popular with lounge lizards. Don your tin foil fez and smoking jacket, have a drink, and kick back to contemplate the government's betrayal of the nation's trust. Be careful - they might hear your thoughts through the transmitters in your fillings.
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The Kutcher gives you the opportunity to sport the trendy "trucker hat" look while blocking extra hypnowaves via dynamic brim technology. Fire up the CB and state your twenty, but not your real twenty; you're just trying to throw them off. |
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The Chaplin: A classic bowler, lending a strangely understated sense of dignity to the wearer. Lord knows you need it. Just kidding. You aren't crazy. Really.
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The Kosher lets you keep it safe and holy. Yahweh would no doubt send an approving nod your way for protecting the precious gift of free will he hath given unto you.* *not offically endorsed by God.
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